The Purple Papers by Christen

A personal essay series exploring how BTS became mirrors, teachers, and catalysts for healing, growth, and self-discovery.

Published June 13, 2026

I won’t deny, I struggled when writing this essay. I had an idea in mind and was going to make it this huge, emotional project! But it didn’t work out that way so I had to figure out Plan B. I sat with this for a week, hoping something would hit me, a spark, anything really. But I came up short again.

Then I thought, what was the point?

Not the point of writing the essay entirely, although I did think that as well. Rather, what was the point, the subject matter? Was it supposed to be some deep, emotional confession? A celebration of community? Simply an excuse to write? I think I made it bigger in my mind because it is the essay that will close out the series. And on FESTA! It seemed like it SHOULD BE huge, no? But it doesn’t have to be. I spent this week reflecting on my BTS journey and ARMY. What does ARMY mean to me? What does it mean in my heart to BE part of BTS ARMY? Sure, there’s the obvious: love and support the guys, stream their music, ride or die for ALL SEVEN MEMBERS! But what else does it mean? I had to sit with that, to figure out what the “Becoming ARMY” part of our podcast name meant to me.

Here’s how that went.

ARMY - The Fandom

When I first got into k-pop, ARMY and BTS was something I tried to avoid. Why? I’m glad you asked. I didn’t feel that BTS was the vibe I was looking to get into. But ARMY was said to be a toxic and intimidating fandom. I heard people talk about how ARMY were bullies and they would find any excuse to talk about how BTS was superior. As a baby Stay and just discovering ATEEZ, I didn’t want to deal with the idea that there was this massive group of people so devoted to this group that they couldn’t stand the thought of another group doing well, in any capacity. I decided to stay in my little corner of k-pop and discover music on my own terms. But then I heard a song, became addicted to an album, and fell in love with a group I swore couldn’t draw me in. And suddenly, everything I had heard about ARMY made sense. Except they weren’t bullying or pushing, they were reacting. I started to see how other fandoms would bring up BTS first and how ARMY would react to defend the guys and suddenly, they were being dragged for being toxic and delusional. BTS would win an award or top a chart that another group’s fan base felt wasn’t deserved and ARMY would come in to lay out why BTS deserved to be recognized and it would start again.

Maybe ARMY is everything these other fandoms say they are. But it’s not because we are bullies, it’s because we genuinely love and respect both the art and the artists. And when you love something, you can’t stand to see others put it down. So you rise up and defend. The devotion ARMY has to BTS isn’t one-sided either. And maybe that’s also why we fight so hard for them. They motivate and inspire us but they also treat us as equals. Since entering this fandom, I never once felt that the members look down on us from some pedestal. They come to us when they have news to share, they trust us with their emotions, they speak us as friends. They write us love letters wrapped in beautiful melodies that live on in albums. They confess their vulnerabilities to us both in music and when they go live. They tattooed our name on their body! They freaking adore us! So yes, if someone decides they want to utter a bad word about them or say they don’t deserve every win, I feel we have every right to say something.

ARMY - The Torchbearers

When you listen to BTS and really pay attention to the lyrics, you discover that these guys aren’t just singing about crushes and life being Dynamite. They sing about things that people are actually experiencing. Burnout, social pressures, going against expectations, fear and dreams, and of course, love and being smooth like butter. They draw lyrical inspiration from literature, art, cinema, and other musicians they admire. They call out bullies, both cyber and government. They are advocates for change.

And ARMY? We follow their lead. We see injustices and we protest. We see causes that the guys are passionate about and we donate - time, money, resources. We share these causes so it reaches wider audiences. We organize movements among the fandom to give back to the world in their name. We support what they support.

We also channel our inner artist and create. When I started getting into BTS, I realized I suddenly wanted to create something and put it out in the world. And the Purple Papers were born. Many ARMY that have come across have said the same thing. Many decide to start creating. Whether they decide to write that book, make crafts and sell them, paint, create music, or…start a podcast. There’s something about seeing them express themselves through their art and give us a glimpse into their real and authentic selves that make us want to do the same.

And the way we support each other is amazing! We engage in the comments, collaborate on projects, listen to the music and podcasts, and purchase the creations. We lift each other up and make each other feel seen. This fandom really is inane, in the best way.

ARMY - The Community

ARMY is a safe space. Point. Blank. Period. They have created this community where you can come as you are and you are embraced. Of course, there are rules, but they are simple: respect BTS, respect the community, respect yourself. If you can do that, you are welcome. And no matter your background, you belong here. Regardless of age, race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, whatever, you belong here. BTS has touched so many lives in so many different parts of the world it just wouldn’t be right to cast anyone out.

I’ve found so much peace and comfort from this fandom, this community. It feels like a weight has been lifted, being accepted by a group that not only allows me to be myself but encourages it.

I feel seen, known.