The Purple Papers by Christen

A personal essay series exploring how BTS became mirrors, teachers, and catalysts for healing, growth, and self-discovery.

Published January 13, 2026

The Beginning of Becoming

I still don’t know the exact moment it happened — when seven men from halfway across the world became the reason I started believing in myself. I remember when I decided to let them in, hesitant at first that it wouldn’t be a good fit, that they “weren’t for me”. I had no idea the fire they would ignite. I’d loved music before, admired artists before, but BTS… they reached somewhere deeper. Their songs didn’t just make me feel seen; they made me want to see myself. They made me want to LIVE.

What They Taught Me

I tried to downplay it. I told myself it was just a fandom thing — the thrill of discovery, the aesthetic, the talent. It was new, it was fun, but it was a phase… right? Over time I realized it wasn’t their perfection that drew me in. It was their humanity. Their willingness to share uncertainty, fear, and exhaustion in a world that demands polish. They didn’t preach confidence; they lived it, layer by layer, scar by scar. Watching that process showed me that I could, too.

Amidst the music and the moments of unfiltered fun, something in me started shifting. I started a podcast — something I’d never had the courage to do. I decided to start journaling, to start doing the work necessary within myself to heal. I began meeting new people, taking chances, saying yes to life. BTS didn’t tell me to do those things, but they modeled what it looked like to live with purpose and imperfection. They made bravery feel attainable — not grand or loud, just honest.

And in each of them, I found a reflection of myself.

I See Myself

Each of them holds a mirror to a different part of who I am:

Yoongi reminds me that silence can be powerful, that art can come from pain, and that I don’t need to be loud to be heard.

Namjoon teaches me to keep growing, to stay curious even when I think I’ve figured myself out. To take care of my mind as well as my body.